i miss... not dreaming.

a nightmare haunts. long after you wake from it, it sticks to the back of your head like gum in hair and no matter how you try to tear at it, it just won't come off clean. the only way, is to cut that clump of hair away. shave it if you must... to be totally rid of it.

but when you suffer recurring dreams... dreams you can feel yourself trying to stay awake just to avoid, or dreams that are so real you swear your insides ache from all the running inside your head... it gets quite a bit harder to ignore that nagging possibility that just like smoke, there's got to be a fire somewhere.

I once had a bad dream. and you re-enacted it in life. now that I have had another, i can't help but wonder how accurate these dream things are.

it's enough that you don't try to ease my fears, or placate the gnawing queasiness i find myself dealing with every time i get hit by a rogue REM. but to ignore it, pretend it didn't happen or assume it leaves me unaffected just pushes me off the edge.

so, i have to deal with this alone then fine. I'll deal with it alone... and my way.
if you think that you'll be "over indulging" me in whatever twisted sense that keeps you from re-assuring me, you're sorely mistaken. Your lack of acknowledgment to my sense of insecurity will be back to bite you... i can feel it inching it's way already.

whoever told you to just ignore the girl till she blows over.. just did.you.in.