when someone flies away...

i was talking to kel today...
as usual.. rambling and asking him a gazillion and one questions on life, love and lust. HAhAHhA! ....

the topic of the day was.
If your love is heading for overseas in 50 days, would you spend more time than normal with him... ... or NOT?

if you DO.
as I have tried arguing..
you would BOTH be used to spending so much time in each other's company that when he leaves, he takes with him.. so MUCH MORE of you than he otherwise would... when he leaves, you're left with a hole.. much bigger than it would normally be if you had just lived your lives as it was... thus making you more susceptible to any comfort offered to you...and HE more susceptible to any comfort offered to HIM.

if you do NOT - ie, you spend the usual amount of time
wouldn't you be able to adapt to his absence more ...efficiently, if you like.
wouldn't you be able to cope with him leaving better? ...

I was told I would regret if I do not make the most of the time we have left and spend as much of that limited time as possible with him.
despite the fact that I agree with my entire being and desPITE my strong conviction and WILL not to regret in wasting the time we are given now, i am torn between .. once again..wanting to protect myself from hurtin too much when he is gone and just plunging into this whole heartedly.

maybe it IS time.. to give.