can't sleep..

tsk.. I got off msn with him because I didn't want to stay UP talking when I'm feeling shitty.. wouldn't have done neither of us any good.. i tried to go to bed but gave up after realising that sleeping wouldn't be coming to me easy...

I'm bothered.
and when i'm bothered.. I can't sleep.. so i can't sleep now.. because I'm bothered...
see there?!.. being bothered and sleepless nights TOTALLY goes like ham N cheese..
Mmm.. yuMMy! ... damnit I'm hungry... ...

whenever I'm ... bothered.. blogging always helps because it's an outlet for my steam .. it's where I can brawl on the floor and NOBODY I mean NOBODY can say a THING abt me.. cos IT IS MY BLOGG!! ... it's where I can spit and be uncivil.. it's where i can whine and cry and throw a tantrum.. it's where I can hide from all the bullies of the world... it's where i can LET GO huge bouts of farts that sound like they stink.. it's where i can do ANYTHING... because it's MY BLOG!!

but tsk.. he reads it.. and it restricts my movement like a really badly starched blouse...
and i don't know how far I bring this lament to...

hai~

why didn't you reply my msg when i asked you about the weather the last time you played soccer?... why didn't you reply my msg the last time i threw a love-hit fit and pounced on you sms-ly ? .... if you only had... i prob wouldn't be feeling this way right now...

don't love me only when I need the loving... don't pacify me just to placate me only to leave me to my own irrational lurches the very next day... and most importantly.. don't lie to me... not even abt trivial and tiny mundane everyday life stuff...

I'm not sure if not being busy is as good as they say it is...
he didn't even ask me to stay a while longer when I said goodnight...
maybe I should really start getting my life back together and get out a little more.

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i went back online.. but he wasn't there anymore.